It’s not the really good games that are hardest to review, nor the really bad ones. It’s games like Speed Boaty.
This doesn’t come down to the fact that the game is distinctly average in quality – which it is. It’s the fact that there’s so little of note here to actually talk about.
This is a vertically scrolling endless runner, though instead of a cute mascot you’re controlling a speed boat.
That’s about it for twists on the formula, though. As your craft auto-accelerates up the screen, you drag left and right to dodge past lighthouses and rocks and tornados.
Occasionally, a giant oil tanker might cross your path.
There are also coins to collect and ramps to jump off – the latter essentially there to help you steadily tick off a rolling challenge.